Maesyn 5k

Maesyn ran in a casual 5k.  I was with her most if the way but then had I help Mikah.  She was pretty bummed to finish alone.

Will I ever find the balance?

I am sitting here, the night before spring break.  It is almost 10pm and the oldest 3 are awake.  Mikah just finished filling up the last batch of jars of beans with water.  We are sprouting beans to (hopefully) can tomorrow.  I keep putting everything off until Ben is asleep, because it will be so much easier to do things without him undoing them.  So I spend his waking hours like a bump on a log.  There are things we can do while he is awake.  But not productive things- so I do nothing.  And waste precious hours that I could be spending being a mom.  Sometimes.  Most times.  And I think about how tomorrow I will do better.

I am selfish.  I have things I want to do, that I am not willing to give up.  Priority in my book is my running and cycling…and sometimes swimming.  Mikah, Ben and I have a pretty good thing going.  When Ben naps, Mikah gets to watch TV and I workout.  This takes up to 2 hours at times- most times.  I want to be faster, thinner…meet my goals.  I am not sure what I am doing.  Should I cross train more? run less?  run faster?  run slower?  And am I fueling right?  Why are my pants tight?

This is not really a bad thing.  This is good for me.  It is bad that it consumes me.  It is bad that it is my priority.  My family.  I love them the most.  But I feel I can be most effective as a mother if I get this selfish time out of the way.  I am happy when I get my time alone, my time to sweat it out.  And Mikah appreciates the tv time.  But I cannot help to think about how Ben's nap could be the time that she and I spend together.  I need to make it better.

I am elated that my kids share some of my interests.  Maesyn, who usually does not want to be a thing like me, is excited to have a girls backpacking trip this summer.  I cannot wait for us to make it a regular thing.  I love backpacking, I love being out doors.  It will be amazing.  She loves any moment away from the other kids.  I remind her that when she was a baby she had us all to herself.  But really, it means nothing.  She really has never had time alone, that she remembers being the most important.  Instead she remembers all the babies being the babies and they are always the center of attention.  This time will be good.  This will be time when I have the priorities straight, but it will be a win win all the way- i will be doing something that I would normally call my selfish me time- but with Maesyn- we can do it together.  It will not be just about me, doing what I want to do.  It will be about us doing something we both love and we will be doing it together.

I like to ride my bicycle...

 I have been spending more time on my bike...when it is cold this is how you ride.  Inside.  It is nice not to have to put on lots and lots of layers. 

 We did venture outside on the 15th and I was ready for the worst.  It ended up not being that cold and I did not need to wear the face buff the whole time!   We are getting ready to ride Ironhorse in May.

Because we are awesome parents.

Ben the helper

 While I was away with Maesyn for the weekend...trying to ween Ben as well...he was helping Nate make biscuits...or he was pooping his pants on the counter.  either way...they had fun.

Gilbert Half marathon and 10k

Here is the only photo I took for Marathon weekend.  I ran the half marathon and got a pr of 1:45:55 just 55 seconds short of my goal.  I made plans late that night with my friend to run together...we hit flat road, 10k runners with no knowledge of race manners and some nasty head winds.  We started out too fast and our HR was too high at the end.  It was still a good PR.  Nate ran with our friend's son's bib and did really well himself. 

Odyssey if the mind regionals

Maesyn's team went to gegiinals I. Flagstaff and placed so that they could continue to state in April.  So exciting!